Then I had my second drum lesson straight after till 10:30pm. Tonight's drum lesson wasn't so good, because I actually cried. I know it sounds like I'm a pussy. But because I was already tired from rehearsing all day. But I felt like I was the naughty one in a school who had to stay late to catch up on everyone, I know Robbie & Milo have been working spending lots of time in their studio writing more songs and making changes. I'm just really tired, I just wanted to go home. I shouldn't really complain, but I feel like boys are always better with most of things anyway. Tour managers, sound guys, stage managers, band members who play technical instruments... they are mostly men.
I don't know if I actually wanna be better than boys. Maybe I just wanna be a pretty girl with good flirting skills than drum skills.
There are so many things goes round in my head that makes me feel unconvinced and I'm too tired to talk about it.
I walked back home from Hackney Road to Dalston.I'm singing 'Girls' song 'Lust for Life'. I like the lyrics.
"Oh, I wish I had a boyfriend
I wish I had a loving man in my life
I wish I had a father
Maybe then I would've turned out right
But now I'm just crazy, I'm totally mad
Yeah I'm just crazy, I'm fucked in the head
And maybe if I really tried with all of my heart
Then I could make a brand new start in love with you"
Fuck. I'm really tired. I'm going to bed.
The Big Pink rehearsal starts 11:30am tomorrow. Then tour starts the day after tomorrow.
3 comments:
はじめまして！
直接は知らないけど、前からちょこちょこブログ見てました！
なんだか辛そうなんで、ついついコメント。
あたしはいまアメリカに住んでるけど、海外で、男の子たちと同じようにがんばっていくのって、ほんまに辛くなるときあるから、めっちゃわかる！！！
けど、泣くのも、女のコの特権やと思うし(男子諸君には悪いけどー(笑))、このまま好きなようにしてってほしい！！！
ツアーも、がんばって！！！！！
Don't let the combination of your gender and what you deem as 'the normal state of things' hold you back in your quest to be the drumming equivalent of Jennifer fucking Batten.
fucks sake Keex you moved halfway across the world to come to London so this stuff has got to be a tad easier.
Stay cool
You are an amazing drummer AND girl. I'm a girl drummer too and you're a big inspiration. I really understand what you said in this post, I feel all of this often too. but at the end of the day it's not about being the best drummer, the best girl..; it's about being the best YOU. and you're amazing. keep it up. Love X
Post a Comment